The Amber Show!

[Amber Heard]

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THIS IS THE AMBER SHOW!!! DO DO DO DO DO!

Hey guys! It's your favorite past model! AMBER! I am so happy to be back in this game and to knock these bitches down! For those judges or pwers who don't know me, what you have been living under a rock? Anyways I was known as the selfish bitch in cycle 5. I was ruthless and cold hearted. I had fights and hates almost all the girls. I had a big blow out with Sandra, who looks like she ain't here!!! But me and her have patched things up, I actually did feel bad bringing up her dying grandmother. See I do have a heart! So basically this season will be no different! I plan to bitch at these girls and make their lifes hell!! Starting with that little jewish piece of shit Rachel Lea! But enough about her, this is what I have done since being on cycle 5.....




OOPS! You guys weren't suppose to see that! That was just little old me having a threesome!



I've done "The Playboy Club" and "The Rum Diary". Oh and I also came out of the closet!



Yeah thats right I am gay bitches! But enough about little old Amber, in tonights episode I will answer these fantastic pre-game questions!


1. Welcome Back!!! What do you think of your Team?

Psh! If it wasn't for me being here, my team would look like total shit!

2. Who's your favorite Teammate & who's not?

Only Camilla really, she never pushed my button. However Taylor, Natalie, Lea and Olivia all want to talk shit about me in their confessionals? Oh do they? They have to hide their to talk about Amber like weak bitches do!

3. What is your strategy to survive the elimination?

You know in my cycle, I wasn't sent home because of a bad picture! I was sent home because of that stupid stress week and submitted my photo late. So I will for sure make it to the end this time around!

4. Will you help your Teammates in order to win Immunity? Why?

Of course not! I am so pissed at Taylor for helping Natalie. Natalie was shit out of luck! Natalie IMO gives the WORST photos ever!

5. Who do you think is the Biggest Threat overall in this Competition?

None of them!

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[Amber Heard]

Well this post had some amazing gifs! But proboards didnt like it!

[Amber Heard]

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THIS IS THE AMBER SHOW!!! DO DO DO DO DO!

HEY EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO THE AMBER SHOW! So I did amazing in the first photo shoot, got 3rd best photo. The horse got first call out but I am sure it will be her only first call out since no one likes a horse face! But sadly my friend was gone this round...



Camilla saying my photo made me a whore but she should of listened to me. Sweethearts never get anywhere in Top Model, just go and ask Isabel who got bitched slap on the other all star season.

Now it is traditional I go over these models and my opinions on them....



UGH! I hate having to mention this stupid bitch! But I just have to say how much I loved to see her in the bottom 2 and its only the first round. LMAO! Bitch is going to realize she can never be a top model and shes weak!!! Also who in the fuck picks Calm Girl? She is so stupid in the head. Plus if she wanted to get first call out this round she could of picked Annoying Skank, for her persona since all her photos are that!



Eh, I am not a fan of Ashleys. Her fish eyes are annoying to look at.



Freida is full of herself, just because your indian does not mean your the best. I think she is just a total stuck up!




OH HELL NO! Do not get me started on Jennifer, that BITCH took my role! I was suppose to be in X-men!!!

www.cinemablend.com/new/Amber-Heard-May-Wear-Mystique-s-Blue-Body-Paint-For-X-Men-First-Class-19011.html




Im sorry but who is this?




Hahaha look at this fat bitch!!! Kate will also never win this game!




Worst breath in the house! This bitch is a total fail!!!




Aww poor Megan, she still thinks shes some sex goddess! Bitch is another fail!



Ugh will she ever go away? Seriously Natalie is the second most annoying on my team. I need help! What should I pick? Bitch no one gives a shit about you we all want you to fail!!!



Rumors going around that Olivia and Mischa have a relationship! I like Mischa because shes amazing! But Olivia is just a whore!



TACKY! Her photos are so horrible! She will never have a career after she loses this cycle!



LMAO! I found this picture and it the best picture I have seen in ages! The photo says it all!



This is why I date girls, I would never date a wife beater!!



OMG she is wearing Biebers sperm!!!



GORG!

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[Amber Heard]

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THIS IS THE AMBER SHOW!!! DO DO DO DO DO!

Hey everyone! It's AMBER!!! So it has been a while since an ep has aired! So this should catch you guys up!

So the third photo shoot was hair! Now I wasn't really sure on what to go for. It wasn't a favorite photo shoot of mine, it was really boring actually. I ended up picking this photo,



Judges thought it was okay and it was enough to get me out of the bottom 2. Which was nice!

So the next photo shoot was this battle 3, aka the photo shoots I fucking hate! But this photo shoot, I was able to talk to some of the girls on my team. I actually started to like Natalie, she is actually really cool and we both fucking dislike stupid cunt Selena. I actually wanted to pick fashion decades because I do awesome in that but Lea took it and I was going to steal it from her but I didn't want to be in trob with the judges.



At panel the judges hated how they have seen this before. I mean it's not my fault I love Old Hollywood! This sucks because I have so many GOOD photos from that shoot. Now I have to pick photos from a different shoot that might suck. I ended up in the bottom 2 with Lea, I was going to go crazy if I left over Lea. But thankfully the weak bitch was out!!!

So the next task was magazine cover, I did good in my cycle for that cover. Clearly I knew not to pick a cover from the old hollywood photo shoot. Anyways all the judges ended up liking my photo which was a first I believe. Usually you have 1 bitch who hates the photo but not this round.

Taylors cover was a copycat from Dakotas cover. I should of got first call out not that horse! So we have to rank the 10 girls, I think we are going to have 2 teams with 6 people. I am not sure if I should put the strong girls on top or bottom. Like I look out for me, myself and I before the other girls so I could like pick Olivia because she sucks or pick Selena because shes a favorite and will help with immunity so I need to be smart.

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[Amber Heard]

THIS IS THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS CYCLE BITCHES!